2020/02/10/job application

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Cover Letter[1]:

Dear person who has to read these applications:

I don't expect you to seriously consider mine, because I'm sure you're flooded with applicants who check off far more of the boxes you're hoping to check off, but I couldn't not apply for a job so squarely in my current skill area (mainly PHP 7.x and MySQL).

I hope your day goes well and that you derive at least a little bit of amusement from my answers to your required questions.


Who referred you to this position? Enter their first and last name here.

Some algorithm at LinkedIn, name unknown

In 150 characters or fewer, tell us what makes you unique. Try to be creative and say something that will catch our eye![1][2]

(I feel like I'm a contestant in the All-England Summarize Proust Competition...)
A Riddle
Question: What does an autistic trans lesbian coder do?

Please write a program that prints the numbers from 1 to 100. But for multiples of three print “Research” instead of the number and for the multiples of five print “Square”. For numbers which are multiples of both three and five print “Research_Square”.[1]

Sadly, "jumping through hoops" is not one of my top job skills -- but fortunately, computer science has solved this difficult and important problem! See Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fizz_buzz


  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Required items
  2. Among the other answers I considered were: (a) my ED25519 public key (if it would fit), (b) "I have never graduated from anywhere.", and (c) Actually quoting the "Proust in his first book wrote about" bit from the a capella bit in that sketch, carefully trimmed so it ends with "he wrote about the" at 150 characters. And yes, I arranged my response so "Ans" precisely filled the limit and it wouldn't let me type anymore.
  3. This is a joke. The rest is something like "Answer: illustrate how annoying these length-limit restrictions are." or "Answer: reply at length." The "Summarize Proust Competition" thing is a reference to a Monty Python sketch in which contestants are supposed to summarize a notoriously epic multivolume work in just a few seconds. Most of them don't even get as far as starting into the first book.